craig_o - Blog
By craig_o on Aug 27, 2010 at 2:55pm
On Monday, news agencies everywhere reported that it's been thirty-three years since the death of music legend, icon, and guru, Elvis Presley. For the life of me I don't know what the significance of the 33 years is, other than it was two repeating numbers and perhaps a slow news day. On the other hand, I read a version of the story that mentioned if Elvis were still alive, he'd be 75 - and I... Read more
By craig_o on Aug 16, 2010 at 4:02pm
You make sense of this for me: Tila Tequila went to the 10th annual Gathering of the Juggalos to perform her music. This, to her, seemed like a good idea. Then, pretty unsurprisingly, she was booed off the stage, hit with rocks and/or bottles and/or human excrement. But really, that isn't the story. The story is that this was the TENTH ANNUAL gathering. Insane Clown Posse is still around,... Read more
By craig_o on Aug 12, 2010 at 2:43pm
And what a month it's been so far! This month's music industry insanity does not disappoint.
Headline #1: 'Love the Way You Lie' Causes Controversy for Eminem, Rihanna
Rihanna and Eminem have a new music video out, starring Megan Fox (guess she wasn't busy with filming the next Transformers, huh?) and Dominic Monaghan. The video has caused a bit of a ruckus, because it allegedly promotes... Read more
By craig_o on Jul 28, 2010 at 11:40am
I'm not a chemist, doctor, pharmacist or even particularly smart. I don't remember what the capital of Nigeria is. Long division takes me a minute. I confuse "affect" and "effect." But I know a pile of manure when somebody throws me into it face first, and I-Doser is as ripe a pile as they come.
A scam is anything that promises to deliver unrealistic "X" results for excessive amounts of "Y"... Read more
By craig_o on Jul 26, 2010 at 1:41pm
The Internet was pronounced dead on July 6, 2010. You'd think that would be the crime of the century, but I'm only getting warmed up. You see, since then the Internet's corpse has been shamelessly violated by around a billion people every day (around 250 million of them for pornographic purposes) for almost three weeks, and there's no end in...site.
No, that pun was not intended. Nope. Not at... Read more
By craig_o on Jul 21, 2010 at 8:18pm
You don't have to read those creepy "Love is..." comic strips to feel good for the rest of the day - unless you're in Hell or something. Sometimes - ok, a lot of the times - it feels great to have a chuckle at somebody else's ridiculousness. It's in good fun. On a related note, I get the impression that we as a society sort of forget that our musicians are really only good at one thing, and... Read more
By craig_o on Jul 7, 2010 at 1:15am
Thank God it's trendy to be pissed off every time a celebrity catches a break on their fifty-fourth consecutive probation violation involving, say, toddler murder in conjunction with running an unlicensed moonshine still within 500 feet of a school. If I, Joe Citizen, get caught with so much as a dirty glass pipe I'll be everything but blindfolded and shot in the back of the head, but Lindsay... Read more
By craig_o on Jul 2, 2010 at 5:26am
...you can commit tax evasion.
Tax evasion is a crime. Having said that, I'll pause to let you collect the socks I've just blown off with such shocking news. But even if tax evasion wasn't illegal, aren't we at the point where it damn well better be? It isn't so much that I'm a proponent of taxation (I'm not) or government spending (I'm generally not), but the fact of the matter is that even... Read more
By craig_o on Jun 25, 2010 at 9:06pm
...or, what it must be like playing soccer inside a swarm of angry hornets.
Yes, it's true, the infamous vuvuzela has earned the completely justified reputation of being pure evil. Whether you've considered it or not, the vuvuzela is, perhaps unfortunately, a musical instrument. True, it can be considered a musical instrument in the same way a screaming pack of hyenas accidentally wandering... Read more
By craig_o on Jun 17, 2010 at 12:51am
Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to talk about cause and effect. You could chalk it up to Isaac Newton's Third Law of Motion if you're so inclined, or even leave it to just plain karma, but some days it seems like you can hardly lay down a pile of dog crap on the Moon without a celebrity somehow walking straight into it, barefoot and on TV, and then picking up a DUI on the way back home... Read more
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