As you've heard, SXSW is of course almost upon us, lasting from the 9th to the 18th and swarming the otherwise mostly manageable Austin, Texas with an overload of people, noise, and traffic. As an Austin resident, one knows the difference between bars, restaurants and venues alongside their SXSW iterations - some places become palatable only during this special time of the year, while others become prohibitive. Here's our list of SXSW events, foods, and music to avoid and which ones to hit.
Historically Overrated Event: The Fader Fort
No idea why people are constantly clambering to get into this makeshift showcase on the east side every year. Oftentimes the Fader/Levis fort has cutting-edge acts, which, judging by this god-awful Salem performance, may as well mean new bands who have not performed a whole hell of a lot.
This year, Fader is doing this thing they call Sound Discovery featuring a festival guide. It will not feature as many Salem disses as this list.
Historically Underrated Event: Shows at the Chain Drive
The Chain Drive, a leather bear bar in the Rainey Street area, is underrepresented during SXSW for some reason. It used to be kind of "off the beaten path," to use a cliche, but with a bunch of other new bars in the area (Icenhauer's, etc.) maybe folks will stop in. Here's an event from last year featuring the dirty, dirty Christeen.
Idea You Think No One Will Have That Everyone Has: Franklin/The Salt Lick
"Hey," you might think, "I'll be in Austin and I want to try this 'BAR BEE QUEE' thing I read about in Bon Appétit, my favorite magazine. Maybe I'll shoot on over to Franklin at my leisure, or head down to Driftwood and get away from the crowd for awhile!"
We're talking about one of the most plugged-in gatherings of people in the world. They have already e-checked into Franklin, so just forget about it.
Idea You Think No One Will Have That No one Has: Persian food on Anderson Lane
Anderson Lane off of 183 is one of our least cool/accessible areas in Austin, but it boasts Alborz, a great restaurant that doesn't necessarily scream "Texas!" but who needs screaming at lunch? You'll hear enough of that later.
Act Everyone Wants To Catch: Bruce Springsteen
The Boss is coming! This means the duel danger of attendees getting trampled or hearing a nine minute version of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town."
Act That Will Feature Less Christmas Songs: Zola Jesus
We think. Zola Jesus is bigger than Jesus this year, barring bread-related simulacrum, or at the very least breading. You heard it here first: Zola Jesus is the breading of SXSW 2012! #wtf
Way To Get Around: Bike or Walk or Bus
Last year, the city made a big show of the fact that our rail system was working. It has been almost a year, and no one rides them. Visitors: don't come back thinking you're going to see Austin citizens cueing up for a ride on the ol' rail like we're in a city with actual excellent mass transit. To move about the city, try renting a bike, walking around (like a chump!) or taking the bus. The bus isn't that bad, and given that cabbies are threatening to charge 100 bucks for SXSW PUKE-ers, it's a damn bargain.
